Einstein, eat your heart out (unless it has added salt)

I finally did it—I defied the laws of physics!

Well, one of them anyhow—the one that has plagued me for the last several years.  It’s that pesky law that says matter can neither be created nor destroyed.  Here’ how my body interprets that—when someone else, namely my husband, loses weight, namely because of his thyroid issues, then that matter, namely pounds, leaves his body, and rather than just disappearing (that law, remember—matter can’t just be destroyed?), it goes straight to me!

Well, not this time! Since his cancer came back, my husband has lost a few pounds, as I suspected he would.  And I figured they’d find their way to me. But thanks to my dutiful, supportiveness as his wife, they didn’t! Not for lack of trying, though. I actually joined him in his iodine-free diet for a few weeks (I knew I wouldn’t be able to figure out food for him if I weren’t doing it for myself, too). 

So, no seafood (easy for me, harder for him, especially as we just took a trip to Boston), no dairy products, no processed food, nothing with added salt.  Yeah, pretty much the fruits and nuts diet.  I think I’m growing a bushy tail and buck teeth—I feel like a squirrel.  But a healthy squirrel!

This was all in preparation for his radiation treatment he had this week.  But now that it is over, I just want to gnaw on a stick of butter!  Not really. But I could certainly go for some melted over a nice big bowl of salty popcorn, maybe with a side of hot chocolate and cheese dip.  Oh, yeah. I can feel the matter coming back to my thighs already!

I’m kind of thinking Nobel Prize for science, defying that physics law, and all.  I wonder which one I will attempt to beat next?  Maybe gravity.  There are definitely parts of my body that would be quite happy about that.  And I’m thinking that bowl of deep-fried chocolate-covered cheese isn’t going to help much.  But it will be SOOO worth it!

catching up with life

Is that even possible? Catching up with life? Well, at least I can give a brief update. First, one of my sister's pointed out I never mentioned what happened with my son's scary bump on the back of his neck.  So, I will.

He had to go in for an MRI.  And he was excited!  So excited.  Like Legoland excited.  I just didn't have the heart to say, "Are you kidding? This will be one of the most unnerving, uncomfortable, un-energetic-happy-boy-like thing you've ever done!" But I felt I had to at least warn him it really wouldn't be fun. It would be loud, banging as they slide you into this tube that seems like a claustrophobic space capsule. Ahhh--maybe that was my mistake.  This is my child who wants to be an astrophysicist one day, so maybe that sounded like an exciting space adventure rather than a modern day torture chamber.

Well, he was extremely brave, but still talks about how it was hands-down the worst experience of his life (lucky--he's young). I have to say it was one of my worst experiences too.  But when the results came back, everything looked fine.  I don't even remember what they said they thought caused the bump.  Must not have been too interesting. But if ever a person could will himself to be healthy, just to avoid ever having an MRI again, ever, it is my son.  Whew!

Now if only that worked for my husband. I mentioned his cancer returned. He went into surgery in August to remove the tumor, some lymph nodes, and the surrounding tissue.  The cancer had spread. So, now he will undergo radiation in two more weeks.  That's always fun.

But here's the crazy part. Because the thyroid cells will suck up iodine, he has to starve his body of iodine for the next 15 days, so when the radioactive iodine enters his system the cancer cells will absorb it and die.  Then any residual iodine can be detected on a scan, showing where the cancer may still be spread. I'm sure there is a much better explanation somewhere, but that's my simple take. Anyhow...

Do you know what an iodine-free diet is like? Picture the Word of Wisdom on a cleansing diet.  No dairy, no seafood, little meat/poultry, nothing processed with salt or with added salt--which is just about everything not grown out of our garden. He can pretty much eat fruits, vegetables, and unsalted nuts. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's called the hummingbird diet. Oh, and when I say "he" can eat it, I mean "we" because, yes, I am joining him on his diet adventure.  And I'm starving!  And do you see the glaring lack of chocolate?!!! I admit to cheating and eating some caramel popcorn I had made for a friend, who wasn't home, so I couldn't let it go to waste, right? Wow. I just admitted that out loud--not the cheating part, but eating my friend's popcorn.  See--lack of junk food makes me loose my sense of propriety.  Soon I'll be running around in a clown costume, talking to my imaginary pet llama, or worse--rooting for University of Utah!

All this talk about food, and the lack thereof is making me hungry--I think I'll go have a cucumber, or four.