Einstein, eat your heart out (unless it has added salt)

I finally did it—I defied the laws of physics!

Well, one of them anyhow—the one that has plagued me for the last several years.  It’s that pesky law that says matter can neither be created nor destroyed.  Here’ how my body interprets that—when someone else, namely my husband, loses weight, namely because of his thyroid issues, then that matter, namely pounds, leaves his body, and rather than just disappearing (that law, remember—matter can’t just be destroyed?), it goes straight to me!

Well, not this time! Since his cancer came back, my husband has lost a few pounds, as I suspected he would.  And I figured they’d find their way to me. But thanks to my dutiful, supportiveness as his wife, they didn’t! Not for lack of trying, though. I actually joined him in his iodine-free diet for a few weeks (I knew I wouldn’t be able to figure out food for him if I weren’t doing it for myself, too). 

So, no seafood (easy for me, harder for him, especially as we just took a trip to Boston), no dairy products, no processed food, nothing with added salt.  Yeah, pretty much the fruits and nuts diet.  I think I’m growing a bushy tail and buck teeth—I feel like a squirrel.  But a healthy squirrel!

This was all in preparation for his radiation treatment he had this week.  But now that it is over, I just want to gnaw on a stick of butter!  Not really. But I could certainly go for some melted over a nice big bowl of salty popcorn, maybe with a side of hot chocolate and cheese dip.  Oh, yeah. I can feel the matter coming back to my thighs already!

I’m kind of thinking Nobel Prize for science, defying that physics law, and all.  I wonder which one I will attempt to beat next?  Maybe gravity.  There are definitely parts of my body that would be quite happy about that.  And I’m thinking that bowl of deep-fried chocolate-covered cheese isn’t going to help much.  But it will be SOOO worth it!

catching up with life

Is that even possible? Catching up with life? Well, at least I can give a brief update. First, one of my sister's pointed out I never mentioned what happened with my son's scary bump on the back of his neck.  So, I will.

He had to go in for an MRI.  And he was excited!  So excited.  Like Legoland excited.  I just didn't have the heart to say, "Are you kidding? This will be one of the most unnerving, uncomfortable, un-energetic-happy-boy-like thing you've ever done!" But I felt I had to at least warn him it really wouldn't be fun. It would be loud, banging as they slide you into this tube that seems like a claustrophobic space capsule. Ahhh--maybe that was my mistake.  This is my child who wants to be an astrophysicist one day, so maybe that sounded like an exciting space adventure rather than a modern day torture chamber.

Well, he was extremely brave, but still talks about how it was hands-down the worst experience of his life (lucky--he's young). I have to say it was one of my worst experiences too.  But when the results came back, everything looked fine.  I don't even remember what they said they thought caused the bump.  Must not have been too interesting. But if ever a person could will himself to be healthy, just to avoid ever having an MRI again, ever, it is my son.  Whew!

Now if only that worked for my husband. I mentioned his cancer returned. He went into surgery in August to remove the tumor, some lymph nodes, and the surrounding tissue.  The cancer had spread. So, now he will undergo radiation in two more weeks.  That's always fun.

But here's the crazy part. Because the thyroid cells will suck up iodine, he has to starve his body of iodine for the next 15 days, so when the radioactive iodine enters his system the cancer cells will absorb it and die.  Then any residual iodine can be detected on a scan, showing where the cancer may still be spread. I'm sure there is a much better explanation somewhere, but that's my simple take. Anyhow...

Do you know what an iodine-free diet is like? Picture the Word of Wisdom on a cleansing diet.  No dairy, no seafood, little meat/poultry, nothing processed with salt or with added salt--which is just about everything not grown out of our garden. He can pretty much eat fruits, vegetables, and unsalted nuts. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's called the hummingbird diet. Oh, and when I say "he" can eat it, I mean "we" because, yes, I am joining him on his diet adventure.  And I'm starving!  And do you see the glaring lack of chocolate?!!! I admit to cheating and eating some caramel popcorn I had made for a friend, who wasn't home, so I couldn't let it go to waste, right? Wow. I just admitted that out loud--not the cheating part, but eating my friend's popcorn.  See--lack of junk food makes me loose my sense of propriety.  Soon I'll be running around in a clown costume, talking to my imaginary pet llama, or worse--rooting for University of Utah!

All this talk about food, and the lack thereof is making me hungry--I think I'll go have a cucumber, or four.

Three Wishes

My husband's cancer is back.  It's a little scary, a little crazy. But if there is an upside to it all, it's that it makes us step back and refocus our priorities and what we really want.  It makes us appreciate more the little things, the important things.  I think this is part of what the Lord meant when He said we must become as little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Children recognize those small miracles.  Their desires are pure and simple.  Let me give you an example:


A couple of weeks ago, one of my young sons asked me, "If you could have three wishes, what would they be?"


I said, "Hmmm...I don't know," (this was before we knew about the cancer).  "What would yours be?"


Here's what he said:


"I would wish:

• To have the best handwriting
• To have any Lego set anytime, all organized, and with a snap of my fingers they would all be put away
• And to have great eye sight."

Then my even younger daughter chimed in with her wishes:

"I would wish for:

• World peace
• That Mom would always be happy [yeah, I'm raising her right]
• And to be a warewolf [like I said, raising her right]."

Wow.  I'm just not even sure what to say about those wishes, or what they say about us! Wishes that don't include money, chocolate, super powers, world domination, or even more wishes.  Just the simple things like Legos and furry bodies with vicious sharp teeth.  See--it's all about priorities.  And I'm thinking ours are in pretty good order.

Women's Work

Alright all you lazy moms—I think it’s time for those of us who have “never worked a day in our lives” to start lining up for unemployment benefits. Maybe then we could show we care about the economy.

If a woman is not in the “work force” does it mean she cares less about economic issues? Does it mean she is less aware of the terrible economic problems facing our nation, more particularly her own family? Does it mean she is out of touch with how the economy impacts hers or her family’s life?

No!

If a woman is not the one bringing home a pay check, she still has to worry about that pay check.

Right now my husband’s company is going through a hostile take-over. It is not my job at stake. I am not the one dealing with the intricacies of such transactions. The share-holders do not even know I exist. But am I concerned? You better believe it.

My husband and I made the choice nearly 20 years ago that when children came to our family I would care for them full-time, even if it meant financial sacrifice and sacrifice of my own time and career, among other things. For the last 15 years, this is exactly what I have been doing. I know many people think that’s crazy. I know many people, including even some other mothers, put very little value on what I do and the choice we made.

Several years ago, when we tried to get life insurance for me, the first insurance company we went to refused to insure me because I “didn’t contribute” enough to our financial well-being. When we sat down and calculated my “contributions” we quickly discovered that were we to have to hire out the “work” I do (if I were to die or become incapacitated), we wouldn’t be able to afford it! This was just for the basic cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, music lessons, and child-care, not to mention tutoring and full-time teaching for our one home-schooled child. Needless to say, I was more than displeased with the insurance company’s ignorant response (obviously, we dropped them as our carrier for any insurance and went with another company).

When a woman leaves the “work force” to care for her family, it does not make her less concerned or less in touch with economic concerns. If anything, it makes us more concerned. We have to plan carefully, make adjustments and sacrifices, and be creative in budget development. We know that if our husband loses his job, we do not have a second income to fall back on. I fully recognize many women don’t have the choice to be at home full-time, and I feel extremely grateful that I can be with my kids. Although it is not without its challenges, being home with my kids is my favorite place to be and it is my very most favorite job. I wouldn’t change it for the world. And I hope I don’t have to.

Free Girls Clothes or Empty Promises?

I’m about to admit something that says way too much about me. My name is Courtney, and I like the Napoleon Dynamite cartoon. There. I said it. I know, it’s ridiculously stupid, and maybe even uncomfortable at times, but I find myself laughing out loud, and I’m afraid I even let out a snort or two the last time I watched it.

Why did I just confess this, you ask? Well, believe it or not, I actually find some interesting analogies in the show. Let me explain.

Last week, Napoleon’s friends were upset at each other, so he was trying to find a way to get them to talk. Naturally, he set up a trap. This was no ordinary Mystery Inc. trap, this was a good, old-fashioned, catch-a-rabbit-with-a-carrot trap. Deb came walking into the school hall way to find various signs with “Free Girl Clothes” hanging all around with arrows pointing the way under a giant box propped up with a stick. Well, you can guess what happened: Deb said, “I like girl clothes,” and the next thing you know she’s tied up on a chair in the gymnasium—and no free clothes.

How many times do people offer lovely speeches with lofty promises and high hopes only to end up giving an empty box?

Politicians may dangle budget reform and tax relief, advertisers dangle weight-loss and instant beauty, TV shows dangle popularity and style, but those carrots just often lead to, that’s right, an empty box.

We live in a tough world. Trying to rear righteous children with good hearts and strong spirits can be extremely challenging. Trying to navigate political winds and social storms is very difficult. With so many voices calling out, it can be hard to know which ones will lead to happiness and which ones will lead to emptiness.

Thank goodness we have help. Barbara Thompson, a counselor in the general Relief Society presidency said, “Fortunately, we are not left alone in our efforts. The greatest help we will have in strengthening families is to know and follow the doctrines of Christ and rely on Him to help us.”

In the Book of Mormon Alma reminded us that the gospel has “a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just.” He said the word of the Lord had “more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God” (Alma 31:5).

What would Jesus do? What would He say? What does the Spirit tell me? Pretty simple.

So, the next time you see a “Free girl clothes” sign, ask yourself, “Will that really lead me to frilly skirts and ruffly blouses, or is it just an empty box ending up with my being tied up in the dark gym?”

The Devil Made Me Do It

Am I the only one out there that saw the unbelievable hypocrisy and even irony in Newt Gingrich’s opening response at last night’s Republican debate?

Now that I’ve calmed myself a bit (I know you shouldn’t discipline your kids in anger, and I figure it’s probably a good idea not to blog in anger, too—although I feel a little like I am chastising a childish kid in this one), I have to say how even more thoroughly disgusted I am with that man.

I'm sorry, but Newt and Callista can’t be in the White House—she had a six year affair with Newt, not only while he was married, but while he was leading the charge against Bill Clinton for the Monica Lewinsky scandal! I know, I know, Clinton was impeached for lying, not for adultery itself, but just because Gingrich wasn’t under oath doesn’t make him any less of a lying creep.

I whole-heartedly believe in the power of forgiveness and repentance. I do. I am eternally grateful to my Savior. And for all I know, the Gingriches may be living clean and Christian lives now. But how can any woman, or any man for that matter, go out and vote for him after listening to him turn the blame around and call the media “destructive, vicious, negative," and never concede that his own behavior, his affairs, are what are so destructive, vicious, and negative. He even had the gall to warn the media, "Don’t try to blame somebody else.”

Either our society has become so kind and forgiving, or it has become so morally bankrupt that we can brush all Newt’s lies and hypocrisy and “indiscretions” aside and consider him for the office of what should be the position of the greatest trust and integrity and importance in the entire political world.

I think all people should have the benefit of repentance and forgiveness. But there should be something special about the office of the President of the United States of America. That person represents our nation and all that we believe in and hold dear. The whole world looks to the President, and their spouse.

I want someone who can represent all that’s good about America, someone who embodies not only great patriotism, but firm faith, strong families, moral fortitude, and good old-fashioned leadership. I want someone who can represent me as an American. Someone who, not only the world can look to, but that my own children can hold as a role model and hero.

Well, you got my rants and raves. If you want a little more restrained and professional comments, you'll have to check my Moms for Mitt post. But don't blame me if it makes you want to scream!